Too dangerous to touch
by SSMcPriceley
Summary: Uganda has just passed a law condeming those commiting homosexual acts to life imprisonment or excecution. Based on true events. McPriceley angst.


**AN: I found out recently that Uganda is the homophobic capital of the world. They just passed a law there that punishes homosexual acts with life imprisonment or death. My first reaction was that this was disgusting and there are websites to help you contact your local civil rights ambassador, the issue is currently being trialed in the UN so you can follow that. Considering a lot of McPriceley FF happens in Uganda I wanted to explore what this new law would mean for the boys especially if they were caught. **

Kevin sat in the grimy waiting room, subconsciously running his sweaty fingers through his hair. He felt broken and filled with guilt. It was his fault Connor had been taken to this place.

A shadow darkened the dimly lit room and Kevin looked up to see a guard with a ring of keys dangling from his hand. He sneered down at Kevin and beckoned for the man to follow him.

Kevin felt sick as they passed rows of cells on either side filled with murderers, rapists and drug dealers, the dark side of Uganda, and his heart ached for Connor who did not belong among them.

They rounded a corner and Kevin's stomach lurched in pain as he caught sight of Elder McKinley in the cell. His district leader was cowering in the corner and his eyes widened as he saw Kevin approach. There was very little light coming through a tiny barred window high on the ceiling. Connor came to the bars to meet Kevin whose heart sank as they came face to face.

Connor's once fluffy red hair was dirty and dishevelled, he was wearing the same clothes as he had when he'd been brought in. Now they were dirty and he blended into the walls of the cell. His ice-blue eyes had lost their fire, they were dull with no fight. Connor was broken.

"You didn't have to come" he whispered. "I didn't want you to see me like this"

"I had to be there for you when they-" he trailed off his sentence unable to finish. Kevin was plagued with guilt, when the two had been caught together and taken off for questioning Connor had told the men something. Something watertight. Kevin remembered pacing up and down the interrogation room knowing that the man he loved was inches away behind one of those walls. He could only wait until a someone came to let him go, with no explanation. He had discovered later that Connor had sacrificed himself to save Kevin.

"Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" Nabalungi had said comfortingly.

Kevin was disgusted with himself. "He's not lost!" He found himself shouting not out of anger at Nabalungi but out of anger at himself and how everyone had just given up. "There has to be a way" the other Elders had ignored his gaze and Kevin knew that they were right. It was futile to fight the government of a foreign country. What could he possibly do?

Connor had many hours to himself to regret and wallow in dispair. The trouble had started when he stopped turning it off. He loved Kevin and spent much of his time thinking about the happy times they shared. He used these feelings to turn off his surroundings and it worked until he snapped back to reality, remembered where he was and sat on his bed crying.

He wanted Kevin to be safe, he thought of all the last words he might say to him. He needed to get out of here. Go back to the states to his family and marry. Kevin was angry at him for saving him but he couldn't watch Kevin be dragged away. The one left behind had it worst.

Kevin tried to embrace Connor awkwardly through the bars but the older man pushed himself back into the cell. "They can't see us like this" he hissed urgently shooting looks to the guard. He reluctantly moved back towards Kevin. "Please. I need to know that you'll be safe".

Kevin took a large bill out of his pocket and discreetly pressed it into the guards palm. "Is there anywhere more private we can go?". The guard fingered the note in his hand then looked Kevin up and down before shaking his head. "You stay here" he said simply and pocketed the money and stared Kevin in the eye.

The mormon fumbled desperately in his pockets and pulled out two considerably smaller notes. "This is all I have" he pleeded.

The guard snatched at the money greedily. "A room has just opened up" he put a key in the lock and entered the cell. Connor backed against the wall obviously terrified but put up no fight when his hands were roughly tied behind him. Kevin winced at the brutality.

He motioned for Kevin to follow as he forced Connor down the corridor. Kevin longed to help the man as he stumbled and nearly fell several times but daren't knowing that the coming moments were a privilage that he didn't want to abuse.

They entered a tiny visitors room which had a metal table and two battered wooden chairs. Connor was shoved into one and Kevin sat in the one opposite. The guard exited the room and there was silence before they heard the key turn in the lock.

As soon as the footsteps faded Kevin leapt from his chair and pulled Connor into a tight embrace. Connor could only rest his head on the taller mans shoulder but he buried it deep into the crook. When they pulled apart Kevin set to work untying his hands. Red marks were already forming and the younger man stroked them gently.

Connor was still cautious and jumpy but allowed Kevin to take his head in his hands. Kevin wiped away the tears with a delicate brush of the thumb.

Knowing time was short Connor asked his lover straight away what was on his mind. "Kevin, I need you to do something for me" he rubbed his wrists wincing in pain.

"Anything"

"I need to call my mum and let her know what's happened"

Kevin nodded solemly and went to the visitor phone in the corner. It was hanging off the hook and had been graffitied all over but it was worth a try. Connor stood up on wobbly legs and joined the young man at the phone weakly punching in the numbers. For a split-second they both crossed their fingers willing for a miracle until Connor heard the beeps. Kevin supported him with both arms and Connor leant into the protective touch.

"Mum?" His voice cracked immediately and he took a deep breath until he was ready to continue. "It's me Connor" he felt a squeeze on his shoulder and knowing that Kevin was there made him a little stronger.

"Yeah I love you too...4 in the morning really?" He was trying hard to laugh through his tears. He almost doesn't manage the next words "I'm fine" he looks anything but.

"Do you want me to?" Kevin gestured. He shook his head and bit his lip.

"Actually mum I have something to tell you, it's really important and I don't have much time to explain. I'm in jail. No listen. Nothing. Absolutely nothing"

Kevin closed his eyes remembering bitterly the something. Connor explained the situation his confidence waxing and waning as he went on. His mum's interuptions gradually slowed until they stopped altogether. When he was finished there was a long silence.

They heard footsteps at the end of the corridor.

"I have to go mum. Mum? MUM?"

The footsteps were getting closer.

...

"I love you Con. I love you so much I always have and I always will. It's your choice if you want to answer to Heavenly Father and I disagree and am hurt but I still love you."

Connor burst into tears and they heard the keys turn in the lock. Kevin whipped Connor around and pressed their lips together in the most dangerous but most important kiss they had ever had.

As the time they had together sprinted away from them Kevin was determined to remember every inch of the beautiful man's body. He wanted to remember the happy Connor, the dancing Connor that hadn't thought twice about sharing a kiss or a touch. That Connor was gone now but he wasn't going to let him disappear without leaving his imprint.

Kevin couldn't believe that his angel was to be ripped from the world taking his heart with him. The long, desperate kiss defined everything their relationship had been. Raw and pure yet shunned and crushed. Tears were streaming down both their cheeks, entwining and mixing.

As the door swung open Connor fought every urge he had to keep their swollen mouths pressed together and pushed his forbidden lover away, their mouths parting but staying connected in embrace. Neither of them paid any heed to the man that had entered the room. Their final moment wasn't as perfect as it should have been but they held each other in that cracked combination for a long long time.

**AN: I have a alternative ending that I'll probably post. It's quite a bit happier I just had to write something because I'm sure I could bare to see Connor die. **


End file.
